Decision Avoidance

Have you ever known someone who just could not make decisions? Of course you have; we all have. There are some people who just cannot, or will not, make a decision.

Is there a difference between “cannot” and “will not?” Well, yes and no. A major difference is that “will not” is volitional: it is a position that a person takes, consciously in many cases, when they do not want to make a decision on a given topic. In reality, this is a decision itself. There are reasons to make the decision not to decide, and I will come back to that later.

The two are the same, in a very practical sense, because the net result is the same: no decision is made. They are also the same in that, in many cases, they are means of controlling the process.

There are a wide variety of reasons people do not make decisions. Let’s look at a few. I will throw in a caveat here: I am talking about decisions that, for whatever reason, need to be made. An example: your car dies and you need to replace it and your decision now is what to replace it with. I have seen friends literally agonize over that one.

Last week, I closed talking about one of the reasons: engaging in research but never stopping because we think there is more information we need to make the decision. Perhaps this is true and perhaps not.

One key to research of any sort is to define the problem clearly. The goal here is to cast a net in our searching that is not so broad that we get a lot of extraneous “hits” that make for more confusion than clarity. That way, we can then better define what we actually need to know to make the decision. You may argue that we cannot do that about a subject that is new to us but in reality we can put boundaries on our efforts.

One boundary may be time; set a deadline that is firm but flexible enough that if a useful line of research comes up we can stretch it some, or, conversely, if we reach a dead end beforehand we can stop.

Another could be limiting the number of choices we will consider. How many times have you seen people who have so many choices that they cannot decide between them? Critical to limiting the range of possible decisions is the definition of the problem and information needs. When we limit the number of choices we are forced to think about what is relevant to the decision. The second advantage is that thinking about what is relevant also helps define the problem more clearly and help eliminate choices that otherwise may be considered, saving time and distraction.

So, when research becomes our excuse for not making a decision, we need to look at why we are continuing the research and whether or not we are actually looking at the results or just accumulating more data. The descriptor I used last week was “paralysis of analysis,” which is where we are, paralyzed by a perceived need for more information rather than a need to make a decision. That paralysis allows us to avoid making the decision.

I made a couple of suggestions for how to avoid that quagmire. What suggestions can you add to that? Send them along and we can offer them up for further suggestions and discussion.

Another big reason people do not make decisions, perhaps the most common reason, is fear. The fear that we will make the wrong decision, whatever that means. Other fears are ridicule, failure, “looking stupid,” being blamed, and more that I am sure you can think of. Many, probably most, of the reasons are actually an outgrowth of the fear of making a wrong decision. The decision, then, is too often simply not to make a decision. Fear can overwhelm logical thinking processes and induce us to, in effect, run away from the situation rather than deal with it.

But what is a “wrong” decision? Let’s not use the term “wrong,” but say, instead, that we have chosen an option that did not lead to the desired result. The result, usually, is that we end up back where we started and then go about correcting the situation – by making another decision, probably based, in part at least, on the research we did when first starting down that road. The lack of the intended result can also give us additional information about the topic of the decision and we can factor that into the next round. In other words, a “wrong” decision is a learning opportunity. If we think that way, we then do not fall into a sequence where we are either blaming ourselves or others for the result, but instead are then able to re-examine the question, learning more about the problem in the process.

All this sounds pretty scientific, doesn’t it? It is, of course, the scientific method: do some study, try something and if that doesn’t work look at why and try something else. There is no fear in the process and no blame, either.

The scientific method does not encourage avoidance. One definition of the scientific method that I read years ago is that it is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Those alleys are not chosen at random but by a process of research that suggests which ones have a chance of leading to answers we seek. Then we decide which to investigate. Avoidance does not apply.

If there is no reason for avoiding making decisions, why do we do it? There are, of course, the reasons listed above but, again, they revolve around fear. Fear is a powerful emotion and social force; just ask any demagogue or politician. We are taught from early on to be afraid of failure or of making mistakes, with “failure” and “mistake” being defined by others and often linked to decisions we make. Our schools teach us this lesson as do our parents and many of our institutions. This can carry over into decision-making – or the avoidance of it.

Since I said above that the decisions had to be made, avoidance is not useful. The decisions may become moot in some circumstances but in general they are still there to be made and whatever situation made the decision necessary has probably not changed; perhaps it has gotten worse. And then we go into blaming ourselves for not deciding. Avoiding decisions that need to be made is a losing proposition.

Now, there are situations where the decisions that have to be made cannot be avoided or delayed.  One clear example is driving a car. We constantly make decisions that can affect our safety and that of others as we operate a motor vehicle. Most drivers do this well, as is evidenced by the fact that we are not in and do not see accidents every day or at every intersection. In fact, although we hear about motor vehicle accidents virtually every day on the news, we rarely actually see one ourselves.

A few years ago, I was told by a policeman that in 35% of all motor vehicle accidents there is no indication that any involved party took any evasive action to avoid the accident. Why is that? I believe it is because of another avoidance mechanism: the freeze. When a person faced with a decision freezes, they literally stop thinking and do nothing.

There are other areas where immediate decision-making is necessary. These include working in a hospital emergency room, piloting an airplane, soldiers in combat, and many more situations. Their training and experience give them a wealth of choices enabling them to make often split-second decisions based on their knowledge. In these cases, as well as driving, avoidance is not really an option since the result can be very serious very quickly.

Are there good reasons to avoid making decisions? I think the answer is yes. One example I know about is dealing with an elderly parent who needs to leave the personal comfort of a home they have lived in for years but can no longer take care of themselves safely. Do you move them in with you or another family member? Do you find a facility for them to move into? How do you force the situation if they refuse? These are a few of the important decisions you will have to make and for many, they are very difficult and complicated by health issues and financial concerns. Most people I know who have had to make these decisions, including me, put them off until a crisis occurs. At the beginning of this paragraph I said that there can be good reasons to avoid making some decisions. But we still have to remember that the need to make some sort of decision will not go away; the nature of the decision may change but the need remains.

Decisions like the ones I described in the previous paragraph have a very great component of emotion involved. In fact, emotion plays a huge part in decision-making. We will take up that subject next week.